Las Vegas Showgirls I by Georgia Albert with Jan Newton July. 2000

Las Vegas Showgirls DO Chess !
Come and experience!

INTRODUCING... The Fabulous Las Vegas Showgirls

Round 1 - July 7, 2000

Bambi: Hurry up Candi, we are late!

Candi: I'm coming as fast as I can! These stilletos I have on allow me to go at one speed, Slow.  Just look at it this way, we will be "Fashionably Late".

Bambi: Why do you wear high-heeled shoes? They hurt my feet. The only time I wear high heels is in the bedroom, and then they end up on the floor within a few minutes, if you know what I mean...

Candi: I like to wear them because they make my legs look Great, and the shoes match this gown you designed perfectly.

Bambi: Yes, they do go well with the gown. Did you see the Big K?

Candi: Yeeess I did. Khalifman is much handsomer with his hair styled that way. I will have to ask him out for a cup of coffee after the tournament.

Bambi: Candi, you already have a date lined up with GM Fingers Adams for after the tournament.

Candi: I can see Khalifman in the afternoon, and Fingers in the evening. I prefer Fingers in the evening, don't you?

Bambi: OOOoo yeah! By the way, did you see the rough draft of the Goddess Chess Catalogue?

Candi: Yes! It's terrific. Alpheta and Isis have included a line of Goddesschess boards and pieces, decks of Goddess playing cards, and Goddess Tarot decks designed by Sunwolf.

Bambi: Not THE Sunwolf? No, I don't believe you!

Candi: Oh, it's true! The one, the only, Sunwolf! You know, those two chess goddesses have connections, and they pulled some strings to get Sunwolf as a designer. There is also the line of clothing for men and woman that you designed, Bambi. You did a fabulous job on the clothes.

Bambi: Thank you, Candi. I tried to use high tech fabrics that don't wrinkle easily, because of all the sitting a player does during a match. This way when a player gets up from a game she or he won't look like an unmade bed. Of course I have added silks, cashmeres, and beautiful knits, and one of my favorites, my custom-designed denim jeans that fit just the way you like, Candi.

Candi: OOOoo! Thank you Bambi, You are very thoughtfuI. I particularly like the sheer shirts for the men. You know how a man's strong chest turns me on.

Bambi: Yes Candi, we all know. What part of a man's anatomy don't you like?

Candi:What does anatomy mean?

Bambi: Never mind.

Candi:I thought Isis was going to make an appearance here at the tournament, where is she?

Bambi: Isis is on Formentera firming up arrangements for the 2001 Spring International Goddesschess Tournament. She is also arranging for an area on the nudes only beach for the "Celebrity Pro-Am Nude Chess Tournament."

Candi: This is wonderful news! I have been wanting to go to Formentera ever since Professor Sitting Bull told me all about it. He’s soooo cute, and he has a beard too, oooooohhhh, it tickles! Anyway, it is clothing optional, which is one of my favorite environments. You know how I prefer an all-over Suntan.

Bambi:Yes Candi, We All Noticed your beautiful suntan.

Candi: Bambi, did you hear that FIDE is going to pay the women players at the World Cup Tournament 2/3rds as much as the men players, even though they play the same number of games?

Bambi: Yes, I did! Isis said, "It just shows what the mysogynistic old MiV who run FIDE think of women." She said more, but this is not the place or time to go into it further, if you know what I mean:(wink!)

Candi:I sure am glad I am not related to one of the FIDE guys, for I would be embarrassed to admit I was related to one of them!

Bambi:According to Isis and Alpheta, the Professional Goddesschess Player's Association (PGCPA) will not stand for any discrimination. All members will be treated fairly, and prize money will be equal for men and women players, according to final placement in an event.

Candi: Did you ask Alpheta and Isis about the pension fund for the PGCPA, the "International Goddesschess Retirement Villas", and " International Goddesschess Clubs"?

Bambi: All I know is that they are working out the details, and they will be making an announcement about it in the near future.

Candi: I was thinking, I could help decorate the Villas. Friends say I have a real flare for decorating...

Bambi: We have to get a move on if we're going to cover the final round! Take those heels off and let's get moving!

Candi: Oh poo! Oh, all right, I'm coming. Bambi, Bambi! Hold on, I'm coming...